Guest Post: Rick Lee On Asian Male Empowerment

**** The links contained in this post are inappropriate for work or school ****

I did a blog post on the evolution of Asian Male Porn a while back that has become the most popular post ever on this blog. Obviously, based on the queries I receive, many of you folks out there have an interest in how the Asian man performs outside of medicine, kung fu, and being clowned on mainstream media. Yes, the timid receptionist you see at work everyday is sitting behind her desk and "googling" for an Asian male pornstar to see if he can light the back out of that poon.

Porn in the google age is something you can't ignore. To him, the Asian male struggle starts right here, right in front of your monitors when the lights go out at night. Recently I asked Rick Lee of Asian-man.com to do a guest post and he responded with this comment on the thread a couple days ago. I'm just reposting it here to make it visible to all the readers.

By Rick Lee of Asian-man.com

When I started all the Asian male performers in the adult industry were gay. And as an Asian man, I wanted to put up a site to provide something straight AMs could relate to. I did it more to make a point than for profit and the site gained traction from the very beginning. Now, 8 years later, there are other heterosexual AMs performing and although there aren't many of them. At least there are some and eventually there will be more as the door has now been open.

For many years AMs have been essentially emasculated in the media. But if we as a group break out of sexual stereotypes, it will better our social standing in society. I know porn might be an odd way to achieve this, but this is a front that people can't ignore.

ECSTASY: The Asian American Experiment

"Your teeth clench -- you sweat profusely -- your heart rate peaks -- your eyes dilate -- you're in a trance -- and you're getting a light show by your best friend at a rave. Throw in some touchy-feely and it's better than sex." -Anonymous Asian Cat

That is the story of the ecstasy experience in a nutshell.

Let me tell you about the other one.

Other popular names for ecstasy (MDMA) include E, X, and roll. Did you drop a roll?

Many people on the world stage have made it a point that Asian organized crime syndicates have worldwide control over this illegal substance. Yes, we just wake up early in the morning and start manufacturing ecstasy pills and eat our rice for breakfast before we head over to the lab and play professional pharmacists. You Asian Canadian's up north are some bad motherfuckers. If it weren't for you guys, my peeps would be sitting at home for the rest of their lives schooling everyone in Starcraft and Texas Hold'em online.

Seriously, was it necessary for the United Nation's World Drug Report 2009 to call out us out? Why they gotta be Asian gangs? Would Anglo Saxon be emphasized it they were Celtic White Canadians? WTF, Ban Ki Moon -- check your subordinates! Law enforcement folks (stop visiting my blog -- you fuckers make me sick -- get a real job), take note: I am not advocating the use of MDMA for Asian youth, or anyone else for that matter. I'm just spreading the word from rice paddy to rice paddy.

However, I will admit that the use of ecstasy in the Asian communities here are prevalent. Like tuberculosis, they stuck it to us before they gave us the handcuffs and called us out on the evening news. This time we actually enjoyed it! Water never tasted so good with a nice, fluffy "roll"!

The Asian kid in the video below, he is as good as they come. Circa 2000.



Rave culture had a love affair with Asian America at one point. In return Asian America gave the rave scene a facelift: Lightshows. Glowsticks have been traditionally used in raves before, but some Asian Cali folks decided to tie a string to it and take it to the next level. From the Asian raves that spawned in NorCal in the late 90's, then spreading east, came a fascination with nunchuck-esque lightshows in a dark room deafening with electronic beats. All this while experiencing the peak of a drop, nirvana if you will. Glowsticks and other light frenzy devices have been banned in most clubs and bars, unless of course you have an illegal rave at a warehouse.

Recently, I have learned firsthand that this subculture of raving, dropping, dancing, glowsticking, and lightshowing has reemerged in the AA communities around these corrupted states. And guess what? You Asian folks are the targets! Me no jokey! This is serious business. Apparently, Asian Canadians, Asian Australians, and Asian Americans have been the target of an international crackdown on this peace-loving drug. What about the other folks? Forget about sanctioned alcohol, tobacco, and marijuana, they have Asian folks to arrest and throw in the slammer! Not to mention, the deaths associated with legalized drugs with a stamp of approval by the FDA.

I'm just saying.

I'm not gonna get into the history of MDMA and its effects on the human brain, but unlike any other depressant or stimulant, extensive government research and studies have been shutdown since the illegalization of it in 1985. Look, I'm no advocate of drugs, but I believe the government has an obligation to do more researching, testing, and putting it through trials. People will get their hands on it one way or the other. Unless you are handing out checks to everyone around the world, someone will find a way to produce it cheaply and sell it to fat A-ME-LI-KANS to consume.

A War Criminal Goes To Die

Those that study 20th century warfare know this man to be the least competent political figure known to the West. Robert McNamara, 93, died yesterday of old age. I know you shouldn't talk bad about people in the middle of an obituary, but this man, the renown architect of the Vietnam War, has been responsible for the deaths of millions of people around the world. I know White folks don't like talking about the atrocities in the Indochina peninsula during the war, so let me take a few minutes to dabble my big mouth in it because no one else will.

By the time the war ended in 1975 more than 58,000 US soldiers had been killed, as well as more than three million Vietnamese from the North and South and around 1.5 million Laotians and Cambodians.

I think that's a conservative estimate considering no one had a motherfucking spreadsheet tallying the "gooks" being slaughtered out in the paddies. The only thing McNamara did right before he died was admit to those catastrophic failures in American history.

"We made our decisions in light of those values. Yet we were wrong, terribly wrong. We owe it to future generations to explain why."

Along with Henry Kissinger, who continues to breathe to this day, these two should've been tried before a world court and hanged a la Hideki Tojo. As it stands, Kissinger continues to play pundit on mainstream cable news as an expert on world affairs. They are He is living proof that education, by any measurable standard, does not substitute for piss-poor judgment and outright incompetency.

Every time we talk about genocide, we talk about the Jews being slaughtered in Nazi Germany. I understand that it was a breaking point for humanity, but no one likes to talk about the atrocities that were committed on the Pacific front during the latter half of the century. As a matter of fact, research for those periods into these war crimes was scant, at the very best.

I guess another one bites the dust, literally and figuratively of course. Thanks for the fond memories of Kim Phuc running for her life in the photo without her clothes on. Must have been nice to live almost an entire century with millions of dead people haunting you in your sleep. Only this time, you don't wake up.

The Godfather of War and Peace

"In the practical art of war, the best thing of all is to take the enemy's country whole and intact; to shatter and destroy it is not so good. So, too, it is better to recapture an army entire than to destroy it." - Sun Tzu

When Hu Jintao visited "W" three years ago, he handed him this sixth century (b.c.) book by Sun Tzu called The Art of War, a referendum on his past mistakes. Since this self-proclaimed cowboy did not need a lesson on how to wage a war and fuck it up, there's much to be said about where we would be now had he read that book and taken a few lessons from it before he went wild-wild-west. Then again, hindsight is 20/20 and there's no need to cry over spilled red blood from the thousands of troops that have died in vain.

JFK quoted from this book more than once and prevented a nuclear holocaust. Ho Chi Minh swore by it and overthrew two Western powers by translating it to Vietnamese for his men (Yeah, I said it). It's so highly recommended -- sometimes mandatory -- military officers in the US armed services must study it before they are commissioned. A lot of CEO's use to outwit their competitors. So how can a book this old still have such a profound impact on how we deal with our foes strategically and diplomatically?

I keep hearing this quote from our elected leaders: "Our best days are ahead of us."

Is that really true?

I think we've had too many Presidents that have taken this country so far back diplomatically with their policies, they've driven us into a ditch. What's so great about Ronald Reagan? I mean, what did he really do besides tell Mr. Gorbachev to tear down the Berlin Wall? We forget that he was the man that aided and abedded Saddam Hussein before we attacked him. The man that has grown this American military killing machine so big it couldn't stand on its own two feet. And "W" himself trying to be the Reagan there never was, it was a sore sight to see.

If you listen or watch the news regularly like I do, notice how America does not have the capacity to do what it does best (invade and destroy other countries) without the consent of China. What to do with North Korea and Lil Kim? Must consult China. What to do with Iran and Ahmedinejad? Must consult China. Although not many respectable journalists will outright admit that the US of A is quickly losing its economic prowess to this "communist" nation, China has done nothing but sit back and watch A-ME-LI-KA act a fool as she continues to borrow money she can't pay back while shooting herself in foot.

When I think of this book, I think about Vietnam, The Bay of Pigs, The Iran-Iraq War, The Soviet-Afghan War, and Operation Iraqi Freedom. I think about superpowers trying to have their way with smaller, sovereign nations. I think about gross miscalculations and a house-of-cards argument for long term occupation. At the end of the day, you judge this text by the merit of its longevity. There's a reason why it's survived over 2,500 years. The moral of the story: Wars must be avoided at all costs.

Jo Koy Snubs The Militant

Recently I got a chance to meet Jo Koy at a night club after he did a show here in the Chi just over a week ago. See that poster of him on the top right hand side of this blog, that was part of an agreement we had. And the picture on this post, that's him on the left and the Militant on the right (the only thing doctored on that photo are the shades). I was told that when you shake another man's hand after coming to an agreement, that means you hold up your end of the bargain. Let me tell you how this shit all went down on this particular Friday night at this joint called Temple.

I blogged about this rising comedy star here and how he accentuates his Asianness every chance he gets. Me being me -- just trying to find the next AA superstar is a hard act to come by -- I try to take note at every opportunity I get. So, I did a little research on him on the web and thought he was very intriguing, funny, and had a bright future ahead of him. Watched his Don't Make Him Angry skit on Comedy Central Presents and thought it was impressive. So I heard he was coming to town and I dropped all my plans so I could go meet this funny cat.

So I arrived early at this club at 10:30 PM with Lady Militant and we just kept ordering drinks to keep us company. We kept waiting cause, you know, celebs will be celebs, I didn't mind the wait. The man himself did not arrive till about 1:00 AM in the middle of the night. As I was talking to Lady Militant I saw Jo Koy walking toward the bathroom. I got up out of my seat and introduced myself like I knew him since the 3rd grade.

"Yo, Jo, It's me [Militant]! Where've you been, man? Been waitin' for your ass for a minute."

"Yooooo...What's up? I forgot you name."

"[Militant], I run a blog called The Minority Militant. I blogged about you. Just wanted to get a glimpse of you and maybe get an interview when you get the chance. Dude, man, you're a tough mama to find."

"Thanks, man, I appreciate it. Did you get my DVD yet?"

"Fo sho. I sure did. Let me let you go do your business in the bathroom and I'll catch you upstairs or something."

"No doubt. Let's do that."

So as time flew by, people were taking pictures with him and he was being interviewed by some dudes with video cameras and what-not. I finally get a chance to chat with him and take a picture. Then I pitch to him what I initially wanted to do for the loyal readers of this blog. In return for this interview, I would leave up a link to his site to support his Don't Make Him Angry release.

"Look, Jo, I know you're a busy man and I won't take up much time. If only I could get and interview with you just to see Jo Koy the person -- that would be awesome."

"Anything I can do for my fans. Here let me give you my email address and you could shoot me the email."

"Oh, dude, I already have it."

"No you don't. From my website you mean?"

"Yeah, the one from jokoy.com, right?

"No. Here's my personal email."

I took out my Blackberry Pearl and entered his email on my phone. We shook hands and I let him go about being a celebrity. Five minutes later I left the club with Lady Militant cause I just got the man's email for the interview. I was thinking to myself, "The militants are gonna love this one."

A couple days later I took some time out of my day to think about what I was gonna ask him. Once I got that done I sent him the email. Five days later, no response or acknowledgment of the email. I gave him two more days and sent a follow-up and a fair warning that I would put him on blast. Still, I got no response.

So today, Jo Koy, for breaking your promise, I call upon the Chicken Coop Police to do what they do best: Lock up silly ass motherfuckers in the chicken coop. I will still hold up my end of the agreement and leave the poster up for another week or so. As a fan and a blogger, I'm furious and disappointed. Oh well, shit happens. I hear them calling for your silly Asian ass already.

"BOOOOOK-BOOOK, BAAAAGAAAWWWWWWWWW!!!

Don't worry, William Hung will take very good care of you. To the motherfuckin' chickencoop you go, Jo!!!!

LETTERS TO THE MILITANT VI

Dear Model Minority Militant, <---(har, har)

Hi!

My name's Jing, I read your insightful blog almost everyday, it's great!

Recently I read your post on Hong Kingston under "The Plight of Asian American Literature p1 the Kingstonians" where you talked about your experiences in uni and Asian American studies.

I was wondering if it's possible to share how exactly your college students managed to convince the management/board to hire an AA professor..... How did it happen? Was there organised petitions? Student organisations? How did you guys manage to make the college administration change?


I'm currently trying to organise a petition to bring AA studies to my university....but it's been quite difficult. I would be really interested in how it went down at your college!!


cheers


Jing

Dear Jing,

You obviously speak and write the Queen's English. It's rare to see fat Americans call a university a "uni". But it's always great to hear from Asian folks all around the globe. Thank god goodness for these interwebs. At any rate, you want to know how to get your university to develop and acquire an Asian American/Australian/British studies program. I will forewarn you that no person with decision making clout at the administration level would want to include such a program in their university because it cuts into other funds, and in some cases, their six figure salaries. They see no point, and I'm being honest here.

However, to this day, my alma mater still does not have an Asian American studies program. But they did manage to get a couple of Asian American professors that have developed a curriculum for Asian American literature. Even though twenty-five percent of the student body was of Asian descent, the administration still did not see a point in having one. This really gets to my point about how some universities don't see a reason to add AA studies because they already have an Asian studies program, which of course is focused on Asia, not Asian Americans. Many people don't know about Angel Island, but they're forced to learn about Ellis Island in grammar and high school.

So to answer your question about what it took just to get a couple of professors there, it wasn't easy. This is over a course of several years, which included petitioning by many student body organizations and clubs, dedicated faculty, campus media, and community pressure. Yet, they still do not have a program. Progress is progress -- so even a couple of steps in the right direction is making some type of headway.

The advice I'd give to you is to start from the grassroots level. What percentage of the student body is of Asian descent? Are there minority organizations there willing to tackle this issue? Do students and faculty there even consider the need for such a curriculum? Have you brought up this idea to fellow members of your organization or certain faculty? Ask yourselves these questions because you will have a long and embattled road ahead of you. Do not let me discourage you in any way because it is critical that we have people in our society that are aware and conscious of AA history and issues.

I say this because the history of this struggle dates back to the 1960's here in America. Right in the back yard of Southern California were mass demonstrations, hunger strikes, and straight militant rioting in the streets. Really, you just have to fight for it and have the political and intellectual will to hold your ground and put forth your best arguments. It was a collaborative effort by students and faculty of all backgrounds. That's what you'll need. If it wasn't for them, we'd still be in the dark ages of ethnic studies everywhere.

For now, talk to some students on your campus and get a feel for what they think about the idea. Run it by some faculty and see what kind of responses you get back from them. Again, grassroots organizing with people that are passionate about having this program should take you down that path. Just don't let me catch you on the evening news just yet. =)

Driving While Asian...It's Hard!!

I was told on many instances that Asians were the worst drivers on the road. As a matter of fact, it's been reiterated to me not only by mainstream media, but by my own non-Asian friends. The worst kinds they say, are Asian women -- the older ones. You know, I'm not gonna get worked up by a friend that tells me Asians can't turn a steering wheel. I've been in the car with plenty of great Asian woman drivers that could smoke me on a track any given day. But the point of this post is road rage and the Asians that get caught in the middle.

So I proceed to drive down to the dollar store and get some cleaning products for my basement apartment. Shit, after all this rain we got the last three days, I start seeing mold growing in the corner of my bathroom from the flooding, and it is a very disgusting sight to look at. I'm rolling down the street in my teal 1993 Toyota Tercel, coupe edition, and minding my own business just soaking up the 92 degree humidity. Some douchebag forgot to install air conditioning in my car when they built it. I'm sitting at a street light trying to make a right turn and listening to NPR.

It blatantly says NO TURN ON RED on the pole.

Some silverhead, jerk-off executive in a business suit and aviator shades driving a black monster truck (Lincoln Navigator) behind me is honking his horn cause he's late to a meeting. Mind you -- he's on his cell phone. He honks twice and I continue to hold my turf. The light's still red and I hold up both my hands in the air to display my annoyed state. I stick my head out of the driver side door and say to him, "You can't read the sign?" He sees that I look like a nice Asian guy trying to convey a friendly message with a hint of rhetoric. He immediately honks five more times after I pull my head back in.

He pulls up a little closer to my car and I'm thinking this son of a bitch wants to run my ass over like he's in a monster truck show. Since I feel a bit threatened I move up a little and pull over to the side and proceed to get out of the car like an armed gangbanger ready to light his peckerwood ass up. Really, I'm furious cause he thinks I'm Asian he can fuck with me and get away with it. Secondly, he's probably saying to himself I don't belong in his neck of the woods, let alone his beloved country.

He sees me get out the car dressed in shorts and cutoffs with a tatted up left shoulder and he's having flashbacks of Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino. Next thing you know, the light just turns green, and he makes a hard left towards the other lane and peels off without making his desired right turn.

It just gets to me that some people think they're so important they can bully others off the road. These punks make me sick. They drive around with a sense of entitlement like they own every piece of land they walk on. These sociopaths need to be checked, ticketed, counseled, and given a good beatdown in a jail cell. End of story.

An Ode To The King

I'm a child of the eighties and not acknowledging Michael Jackson for his transcendence of race, crafting of pop music, laying the foundations for break dancing, and touching the lives of folks like myself with his out-of-this-world performances would be unforgivable. Many of you that grew up in my time were in awe of that moonwalk. He wasn't perfect, nowhere near in fact, but he had the ability move people. If there was ever a person that brought together the worst of us in a jagged world like he did, they'd have put a red leather jacket on him with military customs, gave him solid black tap shoes, round black shades, some curls, and a pair of white gloves and put him in front of a stage. Thanks for the dance lessons and the intro to American music.

R.I.P. Michael.

The Plight of Asian American Literature Part I: The Kingstonians

Growing up in a subculture where being a doctor or a lawyer is admirable, telling your Asian parents you want to write books is like telling them you want to wash dishes at a Thai restaurant for the rest of your life. And I have washed dishes, in a pizza joint. But growing up without prominent Asian American voices or heroes can be arduous. So what did I do? I gave up break dancing, dropped out of high school, and started gangbanging. At that time, they were my heroes and they took me under their wing and showed me how to be street smart. I don't blame my past actions on not having any heroes, but I think having inspirational people -- aside from your own parents -- can go a long way.

Trying to discover my roots was like trying to find a hooker in a library. If you remember correctly, we were running on hard copy encyclopedias, outdated social studies books, and mostly White writers crafting us their memoirs on their journeys and voyages around the world. Not a single prominent Asian American writer in sight. If there were, none of the intellectuals could roll one off their tongue like they could an Asian joke they told each other at their social gatherings. And this was the state of minority literature in this country, exclusive to elitist authors and a few select African Americans.

When I got into college after navy life, I majored in English with a concentration in writing. If I got a nickel for every time James Joyce's Ulysses was used as a reference in my undergrad studies, I'd have been as rich as the head of the English department. Every literature and writing class I took, these lecturers and professors could not get enough of this Woman Warrior in Maxine Hong Kingston. Every reference to Asian American literature had the word Kingston in it. Every now and then, celebrity Amy Tan would be injected into the discussion. These two female Asian American writers constituted AA literature. I read them front to back, Woman Warrior and The Joy Luck Club. But still, this was not my cup of green tea.

As the fight progressed to get an AA studies program, some intellectual up there in a suit finally caved to the years of protesting and granted our university an AA literature professor, but not an AA studies program. He was Berkeley trained and certified, like a true English Language scholar. Like any eager student plotting a cultural revolution, I registered for this class and got introduced to real AA literature.


Class Reading List:

Aiiieeeee!: The Anthology of Asian American Writers edited by Frank Chin, Lawson Inada, and Jeffrey Chan.

No-No Boy by John Okada

The Chickencoop Chinaman/The Year of The Dragon by Frank Chin

Jasmine by Bharati Mukherjee

My Reading List:

The Accidental Asian: Notes of a Native Speaker by Eric Liu

Donald Duk by Frank Chin

The Chinaman Pacific & Frisco R.R. Co. by Frank Chin

The Rape of Nanking by Iris Chang

YELL-Oh Girls! by Vickie Nam

I was so enthusiastic about AA literature I read all these within the course of one semester. To me, and every other person that follows AA lit, there were two sides: The Kingstonians and then the others. One catered to White mainstream society with fairy tale fluff and the others were subpar and not acceptable to the New York Times Best Seller list. Which one did I fancy? I chose the latter. Evidently, every intellectual English Scholar at every Ivy League institution fell in love with their Kingstonians.

As I sat in an advanced fiction writing class the following year, I wrote a couple of semi-autobiographical short stories based upon my own life. In conjunction with that, we read selected stories from Best American Short Stories 1999 edited by Amy Tan. Even though I got an A in the class, to say the least, I had some run-ins with this professor about literature. He said he wanted to "feel" and "taste" my culture in my writings. This told me off the bat he thought of me as a person alien to American culture.

Being the big mouth that I was, I told him something to this effect:

"Look. I'm no Amy Tan and won't pretend to be. This whole idea you have about creative writing, you associate that with my appearance. I'm not gonna write a story about papaya salad and how the smell of it is a metaphor for freedom from tyranny. You guys have it all wrong. Because I'm an ethnic minority you think I have to write a story about coming to America. I'm sorry, I'll save that one for later."

At that point in time, I knew that his thinking was no more different from a know-nothing literary agent or a snobby publisher looking for the next Kingston. My chances of actually writing a story so far from this Kingstonian approach had no place in the literary or the publishing world. I've already heard stories from AA peers and others about how literary journals and magazines have marginalized them because they did not meet this par. And, yes, it is a sad story in itself.

So where does this lead us down the road? As Kingston's Women Warrior continues to be the most widely taught literature book at the university level, talented AA writers will find no place on the book shelves of community libraries and American universities, no less a place in an American literature class. If this continues to be the path we take, I'd like to be no part of it. As the publishing industry continues to flop as we speak, I could only grin and look the other way.

Funny What Five Years Can Do To You

You remember this Asian clown? First things first, karma is a bitch, isn't it? You know I've always had a soft part for obese human beings, but sometimes I can be a meanie, especially if you've turned the curb to being the second coming of Charlie Chan. What this man has done to the Asian male race, I cannot possibly fathom. If you were an Asian male watching this little Asian man doing a rendition of Ricky Martin's She Bangs on American Idol in front of thirty million fat Americans, you too contemplated an assassination attempt on this bird-brain of a human being.

I kept looking at William Hung's before-and-after photos and could not come to my senses. I was overwhelmed with hate, joy, and tummy-ache laughter. How could he not have known he was on there for comic relief? Again, I could blame America for this, but what did you expect from a society with a long and adversarial dislike of the Asian people? No fortune cookie line will ever save your yellow ass from an opportunity for White America to mock you in front of the center stage.

Now look at him. He looks like a full-fledged fat A-me-li-kan that just got done with assimilating a full slab of bbq ribs and ten double cheeseburgers. After packing on that extra hundred pounds of pure animal lard, you know you've fit in with the mainstream society. Eat away your problems, my funny friend. Your persistence in making yourself a singing superstar has paid off in lump sums, not annual dividends.

What really gets to me is that they can't leave this guy alone. Somehow, he actually thinks he's a celebrity. I saw an interview with him on ET and the motherfucker just doesn't shut the fuck up. This fat fuck just doesn't know when his fifteen minutes are up. It's been five years and yet they still persist on sticking a microphone in front of his face. From the looks of it, he can't get enough of that shit. Someone please duct tape this motherfucker to a raft and send his silly ass out to sea so he can get pecked on by sea gulls or something.

I'm sorry for being such a jerk but I just had to get this out of my system. Since the damage has been done and his silly Asian ass is in the chicken coop eating bird food like the rest of those chicken heads, at least there's some type of closure. I sincerely hope that this will serve as a lesson to all that aspire to do bigger and better things while throwing their own peeps under the bus. Is it really worth it? Really, ask yourself that before you take on that role.